Soldier

There you go. The above picture is the 4 cm x 5 cm lump that was removed from my left breast. Next is a self-photograph in relation to this entry’s title. I looked like a soldier who has survived a battle.

The experience was quite life-changing not to mention unnerving. I never liked hospitals, despite being my everyday working environment, and this was the very first time a major manipulation has been done to my body. My ER friends were supportive of me, they provided the necessary items for the operation so I will be free of charge. My fellow ward nurses were joking that if I were to be confined, they have reserved a room for me. The surgeon who handled my case was very kind too; he did the operation free of charge!  They were all suprised, at the same time admired me, for being so couragous for facing this trial alone. Although in reality, I was so scared because of this solitude. As I lie awake on the operating room waiting for my turn, I realized that eventually I will undergo such challenges alone, hence I better be responsible about myself already.

The funny thing was, I have seen how they removed the lump. Though they did not allow me to watch closely, the reflection at the OR light overhead gave me a bird’s eye view of what happened. They were amused because I was the type of patient who even joked around during the operation! But in reality, it was my facade. I was just using humor therapy to conceal my worries. The operation lasted an hour; the surgeon had quite a hard time locating the very movable lump, not to mention that he hit a vessel which leaked, making the first slicing bloody. I managed to make it alive, and it amused them how I was able to walk around and even take a jeepney home, all alone.

And today, day one post operation, I am already moving about. I am taking the painkiller religiously every 8 hours, and all is good. I do my own wound cleaning and dressing, surprised that my incision is an inch long. My two high school friends visited me for my humor therapy. We played the drums, guitars and the violin. Then we dined outside. We ate pizza and pasta, walked one and a half kilometers late at night, then had a bumpy ride home. My breast is kind of sore now but I am a lot better. Yes, I really am a soldier.