10. Rise

I like the local Nescafe commercial with the tagline, “Para kanino ka bumabangon?” (Loosely trranslated as “Who are your reasons for rising up?”) The difference between “gising” (waking up) and “bangon” (rising up) is striking. Waking up means living and getting by the routine, while rising up means living more purposively, always standing back up everytime life beats you down.

I have been thinking who or what are my reasons for waking up. Lately I think my life is losing its meaning. I have been talking to my coworkers who, despite the long working hours and problematic family situations, still get on by with twinkle in their eyes and smiles on their lips. Take for example a male coworker just about my age. He already has a wife and a child et they are not yet married. He’s been relentlessly talking about his problems regarding his job and his wife who seems to have lost interest on their relationship and their child. Yet everytime I see him he looks like he’s living effortlessly;. He is totally passionate about his profession and always talks about his dreams of a much comfortable life for his family. When I asked him what makes him go on despite all the superhumanly pains he experienced, he plainly replied, “My queen and my princess.” What a hardworking, often misunderstood king he is!

As I sit around listening to my fellow nurses’ stories, I start to think I am not living my life properly. That, or I am simply neglecting my reasons to “rise” every morning. As I walk down the metro and watch people rushing back and forth for their work, I realized that many people have the same pitfall. We are merely “waking up” just so we can get our tasks over and done. Whenever I have a rest day, there is a bitter feeling when I am at home. The home suddenly feels alien, then it hits home. My younger siblings are leading their separate lives. Soon, my older sister will be married and will start her own family. My mom and dad too will grow old, and maybe there will come a time when they will incapacitated enough that we won’t be able to spend afternoons with coffee and pastries on our favorite restaurant. Eventually, I will have to work overseas for my own development hence further limiting our quality times together. And now here I am wishing to spend my free day outside, either with my friends or all alone. Sometimes I even wish to work overtime all for the love of money. I start to think: Is money my sole reason for “rising” everyday?

I believe many people should ponder on this, their reasons for rising up. It is because I see that many are neglecting their supposedly precious reasons because they are blinded by the need to increase the money in their banks and the fame they are currently enjoying. Besides, work can always leave us; companies can close down. When we have become depressed and about to have a breakdown, to whom do we immediately turn to? Friends? Friends can always betray us. But our families won’t, no matter how reckless we have been with their hearts.

-mia-
10/3/2010 (date originally written)